Eyes Wide Shut
by MaitresseSaint
Summary: "No one ever said love was easy, Bella." "No, but I never thought it could hurt this much." Bella and Edward meet through a mutual friend and before long become friends themselves. Eventually all canon/AH/Angsty Rated M for language and lemons.
1. Prologue

**Thank you for reading. **

**This will be written in Bella's POV and set in Nashville, TN**

**While the prologue hasn't been beta'd, I have to mention my wonderful beta Kitty Cullen-03. She is amazing for putting up with me alone.**

**Big thanks to my pre-reader Twiothgirly!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all of it's characters.**

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Prologue

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_**December, 2005**_

"Are you sure you want to do this?" my lover questioned in the darkness. His lips brushed against my jaw. My fingers tangled themselves in his hair. He was gentler than _him_, always anticipating my every need. My heart screamed in protest.

"No, but I need to," I whispered honestly. He was my salvation. The one that would break the spell, I was sure. _You've been sure before, _my inner innocent screamed._ But this is different, _my desperation retorted. I felt him nod against my skin in what felt like agreement, but was acknowledgement instead.

As my lover tried to help me fall deeper into the blue, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that _he_ may be right…

"Just make me forget," I cried out through a strangled sob. If he understood, or even heard, he didn't acknowledge it. His lips never left my skin as his hands roamed my body freely.

Falling…

Falling…

Falling…

My lover had complied.

_**Earlier that evening…**_

He pulled me out of the kitchen, into the living room, leaving our large group of friends gaping behind us. His grassy pools spoke mounds as he backed me against the wall, one of his hands burning my skin as it rested on my hip. Jealousy and anger were coursing through his body as the notion that I could be with another man, one of his friends, dawned on him. He had seen me with boys before, but this was different. He could feel that I was ready to move on. It was too close to home.

"Why are you playing games, Bella?" His jaw was tense, but a small smirked played on his lips as his eyes bore into mine.

"It's not a game, Edward," I quipped, mocking his tone and stance.

"Everything we do is a game. Everything we have ever done has been game…" He pulled away, leaving his words hanging in the air. They stung more than they should. He was trying to hurt me, and my heart couldn't take much more. The sound of my palm connecting with his chiseled jaw echoed throughout the house.

"Don't be so bitter, baby," his voice was as smooth as ever. We stared at each other for a moment. A beautiful smirk adorned his lips and tears welled up in my eyes. Would he always affect me? Control me?

I pushed past him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.


	2. Where Is My Mind?

**I apologize for the fake out chapter. I wanted to add a prologue. There will be a new chapter posted by late Wednesday evening. Thank you for the reviews, fav's, alerts, and your words of encouragement! **

**Huge hugs and thanks to Kitty Cullen-03 for putting up with my insecurities and for beta'ing. I adore you! TwiOthGirly, my pre-reader, thank you! You're the apple to my sauce. The Pedro to my Napoleon. **

**This will all be written in Bella's POV and is set in Nashville, TN.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga and all of it's characters. **

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Where Is My Mind?

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_**March 2002**_

The girl staring back at me wasn't someone I recognized. The life had been drained from her eyes. The constant push and pull was weighing her down. He was weighing her down. _Snap out of it_, I told myself. _He's perfect. It's you. Your lies, your games, you've ruined the both of you._ I knew it was true. I played on his emotions, his weaknesses, pushed every button I could. Rosalie told me to leave, and not just once. She could see that we were killing each other, but I couldn't… wouldn't listen. If we ended, it would only be another failure to add to an already long and ever growing list.

One final sweep of my sheer, pink, lip gloss and I was ready to go. I turned to the side, smiling at my profile in the short bathroom mirror as I flattened my shirt over my abdomen. Movement caught my attention in the reflection and I flinched. Ben's house was unfamiliar territory, still.

"You look pretty," he said, staring at me with dark, hooded eyes. An irritated sigh escaped my lips as I pushed past him.

"Not now, Ben. I told Rose I'd be at her house ten minutes ago. She's really been on my ass lately, and I miss her."

"She lives next door, Bella. She can come over anytime she likes." He shook his head and followed me into his bedroom. My clothes were scattered all over the floor and I wasn't sure where I left my bag. Hurriedly, I searched for it. I knew it would be a fight once he realized I wasn't spending the night, but it had been three days since I made an appearance at my house, or my parents house rather, and I was sure his father and stepmom would enjoy spending some time with their son.

"I know that, but you guys fight constantly. Having you in the same room in hardly pleasurable, Ben. Besides, I like having you all to myself."

"Mm, I bet you do. What are you doing?" I turned around to see his head cocked to the side, looking at me in confusion.

"I need to go home after I drop Rose off. My mom misses me and I'm sure Mark isn't too pleased that I've invaded his home."

"Who gives a shit what he thinks. I want you here. Please," he pouted.

"No. I really have to go home. I promise to come over first thing in the morning."

"Alright. Call me when you get home. Where are you and Rose going, anyway?" He started helping me find my things and dug my bag out from under the bed. I suspected he put it there, but didn't say anything.

"Um, to Mike's first. He needs a ride somewhere, and it's been a while since either of us has seen him. Then I'm really not sure. She'll probably have me drive around looking for Emmett. You'll know when I'm back. Unless you're going out…" I let the silent question hang in the air. He knew I was poking.

"No, Bella, I'm staying home," he said with a sigh. Ben, being from Mt. Juliet didn't have many friends in Antioch, one Nashville's many neighborhoods.

"I love you," I cooed, throwing my arms around his neck and standing on my tip-toes to kiss his lips. He kissed me back slowly, still trying to convince me to stay. I pulled away and smiled.

"I love you, too. Call me after you leave Mike's," he gave me a pointed look and walked me to the door.

"But you just said when I got home," I said, confused by the change of heart.

"Yeah, well that was before I knew where you were going. Call me," he said firmly, slapping my ass hard, earning a little yelp and jump from me.

"Okay," I sighed.

I walked out of the door, my backpack slung over my shoulder. Rosalie was sitting on her front porch, irritation laid heavily on her features. My car was parked on the street, in front of the house across from Ben's. I signaled for her to give me a minute and hurled my bag into the back seat of my truck. Rosalie had never been very patient and stalked towards me.

"I'm shocked he let you out of the house. I was getting ready to call Emmett," her voice was heavily laced with annoyance. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"You would use any excuse to call Emmett. Get in the car, Rosalie," I snapped, rolling my eyes as I slid into my driver's side seat. "You know, I don't see why you two can't just get along. I love you both so much and it really makes things hard on me."

Ben and Rosalie argued about everything, especially me. I knew when I met him that they had slept together a couple times the summer before and that she wanted more. She would never say that she harbored some resentment, but I had a feeling that had at least a little to do with her constant attitude towards him.

"I've tried to be nice. He treats you like you're his fucking dog," she argued.

"I haven't exactly been a Saint."

"No, but Jesus, Bella, the guy steals your keys so you can't leave the house. He punched a hole in the wall next to your head, and oh, don't even get me started about the time he spit in your face. God, I'm glad Tyler was there. He deserved that ass kickin'."

She was right to feel that way being on the outside looking in, but she didn't see everything that went on in our relationship. I'd done my fair share of disrespectful things, too.

"Don't talk about him like that. I shouldn't have let that happen. I instigated that argument, and you know as well as I do that I pushed him. I was looking for some kind of reaction," I confessed honestly.

"You can't be held responsible for all of his actions. He's a big boy," she yelled. Ben was a big boy, but he was also insecure and immature. His mother babied him and treated him differently than her other children because of her own guilt. Not to make excuses, but I always blamed her for many of his faults.

"Yeah, I guess. Anyway, we're going to Mike's. He needs a ride," I changed the subject, not wanting to discuss Ben further.

"Mike… " she purred. "I haven't seen him in a long time. Is he seeing anyone?"

"Yes, and even if he weren't you can't mess with him. Not if you're serious about getting with Emmett." I tried to make Rosalie see that as long as she was sleeping with other men she really couldn't say much about Emmett.

"He has an enormous… you know," she giggled.

I laughed. I did know. Mike and I dated a couple years earlier. It didn't last long, two months at most. We did, however, remain great friends and on occasion indulged in each other. All of his girlfriends loathed me. Each one questioned his fidelity. They had every right. I liked to think of myself as a good person, but I wasn't perfect by any means. Mike's undeniable physical attraction to me brought me a sense of joy and false pride that kept me running back. It didn't hurt that Rosalie's words were dead on; Mike was beautifully well endowed. His appendage was possibly the prettiest thing I'd ever seen.

"Did I tell you Emmett slept with Jenny?" she said, her voice full of disdain.

"Yes, Rose, three times now. I'm sorry, but look, it's not like you guys are in a relationship. Don't you ever get tired of chasing him?"

"I love him," she shrugged, like it was the answer that solved the problems of the world.

"Does he love you? Sure doesn't look like it. The only time he calls is when he needs something."

"At least he calls," she said with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh, Rose…" I sighed heavily, feeling foreign sympathy for my friend.

As we pulled into Mike's familiar neighborhood, I couldn't help but feel sorry for Rosalie. I truly believed that she loved Emmett, and in some way I felt he cared about her, too. It just wasn't enough. Emmett and I were friends before I met Rose and I never gave much thought into his childlike behavior. He was a momma's boy. Much like myself, he never had to work; Ms. McCarty did everything for him. Rosalie and I met a few months after Emmett and me. She quickly grew infatuated with him after what was supposed to be a one night stand. Soon after he realized he held her attention he began calling her for everything – money, sex, rides (which were usually provided by me, seeing as Rose didn't drive) – like I said, everything. She knew he slept with other women often. It was one of the reasons she gave into him. She figured giving him what he wanted increased the chances of him staying around. Of course she was right, but I wouldn't understand any of it until a later, when I found myself in a similar situation.

My phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts.

"I'm pulling up now." A smile spread across my face as I thought about seeing my friend.

"We'll be outside."

I snapped my phone shut and threw it into my cup holder. Rosalie was staring at me expectantly. I sighed heavily as I pulled my car onto the curb in front of Mike's.

"Someone is with him."

"A girl? You said he has a new girlfriend, right?" she asked once again.

"Yeah. Aubrey. She's cute. Nice, I guess." Truth was, I didn't care much for any of the girls Mike dated. They were all the same.

During our brief exchange I hadn't noticed the two figures on the porch. When I peered out of the window, Mike was jogging to my car. His bright blue eyes lit up in excitement, short blonde locks flopped with the movement of his body. My eyes searched beyond him to the figure sitting on the glider, perched upon the porch. He sat, stoic, staring into the car. Rosalie rolled down her window and was exchanging pleasantries with Mike. I couldn't steer my gaze away from the stranger long enough to engage in conversation. His brownish-red hair sat in disarray. Eyes the color of malachite, fierce and piercing, bore into mine, causing my breath to hitch. My eyes lingered briefly before wandering over his form. He wore a thick, collared, black jacket over a white graphic tee. The words on his shirt were skewed by his postures. A chuckle escaped me as I looked at his jeans. They were enormous, way too big for his body. They must have been Mike's because they didn't match the heavy black boots that adorned his feet. His attire was… odd. Mike laughed, effectively bringing out of my revere.

"See something you like, Bella?" he questioned, with a twinkle in his eye. He knew my type.

"Who is he?" I asked, tearing my eyes away from the stranger.

"Edward," was all he said.

_Well, that was helpful_. I shook my head, leaning over the steering wheel to peer around Mike.

"Hey, Edward. Come here," I hollered, hooking my finger and motioning him over. I took the opportunity to admire his physique as he walked to the car, flicking the cigarette, I hadn't noticed, into the next yard.

Rosalie's head jerked in my direction. I rolled my eyes. Of course she would think I was interested. I wasn't. I was intrigued.

"Yes?" His face was lifeless, not even a hint of amusement or interest. _Odd. _

"If I'm going to give you a ride, the least you can do is say hello. I don't bite," I joked.

His eyes widened. Had I said something surprising? The shock wore off as quickly as it appeared, and he laughed.

"Sorry. I'm Edward. Thanks for the ride," his tone was lighter than before.

"Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Bella," I stated with a smile.

"Yeah, I know," he shrugged, walking to the back door and swinging it open. He didn't say anything else, and neither did I, as he climbed in behind me.

I concluded his attire wasn't the only odd thing about him. Mike climbed in next to Edward and shut the door. The urge to glance in the rearview mirror was overwhelming. There was no reason for me to feel so drawn, so strange, around this boy, but perhaps it was his aloofness that was getting the better of me. The irritation melted away as Mike leaned over the center console and kissed my cheek as his hand ruffled my hair.

"Where've you been? I've missed you."

I smiled at his words because I missed him, too. Before Ben we spent a lot of time together. I actually spent time with a lot of people, but my priorities changed after we got together.

"I'm sure you have," I smirked. "I've missed you, too. Guess I've just been busy lately."

"With Ben?" he questioned with a hint of annoyance.

"Yeah, with Ben," I answered, matching his tone.

"Hey, Rosalie," I heard Edward's fluid voice call from the back. _Does he know her?_

"Hello, Edward. How are you?" she asked, kindly, her heavy Southern accent shining through.

"Good. Great. You?" he didn't sound great at all. Perturbed, maybe, but not great.

"I've been better," she sighed, running a hand over her perfectly styled, champagne colored, hair.

"Not now, Rose. Please. Can't we have just one afternoon without talking about Emmett?"

"Sorry," she said quietly, sitting forward and turning on the radio.

"Where are we going?" I asked, searching out Mike in the rearview.

"The mall. I need a new hat. You guys can stick around if you want. It won't take long." He was fishing for a ride.

"Actually, I think we have plans. How about I come pick you up at 9:00?" I grinned, thinking that I might have more time to figure out what was up with the brooding anti-social in my back seat.

"You're the best, Bella," Mike voiced, bouncing in his seat. I shook my head and chuckled.

"So you keep saying."

We fell into comfortable silence after that. The drive to Hickory Hollow wasn't long, fifteen minutes maybe. It was the closest, and most convenient for me. Neither Mike nor Edward protested to my selection. As I pulled up to the entrance, I made the mistake of glancing in the mirror. An audible gasp left my lips when I noticed Edward's eyes transfixed on mine. It took me a minute to look away, and in that same moment he spoke.

"Thanks for the ride."

"You're… welcome," I replied with hesitation.

"See you around, Rosalie," he patted her shoulder as he spoke. A tinge of jealousy ran through me and I couldn't figure out why. Could it have been because of his disinterest?

"I'll be with Bella when she comes to pick you up," she said as she smiled and waved.

"Later," Mike yelled, turning his back to walk into the mall.

When we pulled away I could feel Rose's eyes on me.

"What's the matter with you?" she asked in a clipped tone.

"Nothing. Why?" I looked at her as if I had no clue what she was talking about.

"You like him," she said in a sing-song voice. There was no way I could look at her without displaying my interest, so I simply narrowed my eyes and pulled away.

"I don't like him! I don't even know him. How do you know him?"

"We went to school together," she confessed as if I should have known.

"Ms. B's?" I'd picked Rosalie, Tucker, and Sam up there a dozen times and didn't remember ever seeing him. Rose had gone to a couple other schools during her high school career, but still, Edward Cullen's name didn't ring a bell.

"Mhm," she nodded.

"Huh. I never noticed him before. He went there last year?" My brows scrunched up in confusion. _Really?_

"Yup, and be glad you didn't notice him. Tucker absolutely loathes Edward Cullen and would have had your head on a silver platter had you even given him a second look. He's a nice guy, but I don't know, I guess he had some kind of relationship with AD or something."

_Edward Cullen._ I liked the sound of his name. After repeating it in my head half a dozen times I took a moment to process the rest of what she said.

_AD?_ I questioned in my mind. The only girl I'd ever known with those initials was Ashley Dixon. She was perfect. A Southern Belle, with a beautiful smile and golden hair that was never out of place.

"Ash? That's… different. He doesn't seem like her type."

"He's different," she said slowly. "I didn't even recognize him at first. He used to hang out with Pot-head Jasper. Anyways, what are we doing?" I took the information I'd just received and stored it for later. Rose was obviously bored with our topic of discussion.

"I'm starving. Applebee's?" Even I could hear the humor in my voice as I'd asked. Rose and I loved Applebee's. We ate there at least once a week and the last time we had gone we were so broke we had to pay and tip the waitress in coins.

"Fiesta lime chicken…" she let her words trail off and licked her lips as if she were tasting the dish.

"My thoughts exactly," I stated, excitedly.

As expected, after Rosalie and I had dinner we went to hunt down Emmett. He was at Tyler's with Jenny, but Rose insisted we stay. She knew he was uncomfortable enough not to rub it in her face, and needed her enough not to ask her to leave. As I sat in Tyler's living room, watching re-runs of The Simpson's with his little brother, Scott, I couldn't quit thinking about Edward. He was so quiet and reserved. The look on his face when I told him I didn't bite screamed innocence. He was nothing like Mike.

Mike Newton's reputation was tarnished by his playboy persona. Most people didn't realize that he worked twelve hour days, spent a generous amount of time visiting his paraplegic mother, and hated the nights his father decided not to come home. He raised himself on his father's money, but the day he turned eighteen he began fending for himself. His father's neglect and his mother's handicap led to a strong sense of independence that I admired. I was one of few that had the opportunity to get a glimpse inside of his heart. I adored the person he was with me, and loathed the person he became around others.

Two hours, and many thoughts later, I stood on Tyler's back porch arguing with Rose. She didn't want to leave Emmett there alone with Jenny. My argument was that he would only find time later and hers was that he'd end up going home with her. We both knew it wasn't true. Finally, after explaining how angry Ben would be about me being left alone with Mike and some stranger, I guilted her into leaving.

We walked back into the house and said a quick goodbye to the Jenny and the six male companions we were leaving her with. Tyler was the only one of our friends that didn't still live at home. From what little information I was told, his parents bought him a house under the condition that he allowed Scott to live there. He was also the only one of our friends that was older than me. He was twenty-five, Rose and Ben were eighteen, and Emmett and I both a young twenty.

The entire way back to Antioch from Tyler's, I listened to Rose complain. I didn't mind; Emmett was putting her through a lot. I only wished that she would see their relationship for what it was; cat-n-mouse, user-n-abuser.

When we pulled up to Hickory Hollow, we sat outside of the entrance for fifteen minutes before Mike and Edward finally made their way out. I tried to feign annoyance as they filed into the truck, but I didn't expect anything else from Mike. He was always late. Besides, my thoughts were too caught up in the Adonis sitting directly behind me to really care.

"Where are we going?" Mike booming voice caused me to cringe.

"I'm taking you home," I answered, not sure where else he thought we would go.

"Nah. Let's go to the carwash. This thing is nasty. I'll clean it out for you." I looked up to see Mike looking at my floorboard in disgust. My car was bad. It probably hadn't been cleaned in two months and I practically lived out of the thing.

"Um… I should-" I began to decline, but he cut me off.

"Just go to the carwash, Bella. It won't take that long."

Nerves bubbled up in the pit of my stomach. I knew Ben would be upset if I wasn't at Rosalie's to drop her off soon, and I had forgot to call him. However, I wasn't ready for the night to end. There was an overwhelming desire to know more about Edward Cullen, so I simply nodded and drove.

The rest of the evening was pretty enjoyable. I learned that Edward, like Rose, was eighteen. He lived with his newly divorced mother and didn't have a job or any future plans. His spirits were higher after we left the mall and it was refreshing to see him at like a normal eighteen year old boy. He and Mike joked about the mess that was my truck and talked about their weekend plans. I sat quietly and listened. By the end of the night I had decided that Edward Cullen's laugh was the sweetest sound in the world.

I dropped them off an hour later. When they got out of the truck, I thanked them for cleaning it and told Mike to call me. He said he would, I knew it would be at least a week. He hated Ben, but didn't want to cause problems for me either.

Rosalie tried talking me into coming inside when we got to her house, but I vehemently rejected. We were known on her street for spending late nights in my truck talking, and that night there were things I needed to get off my chest without worrying her grandma would hear.

Twenty minutes into our conversation, I had yet to get anything out and Ben was knocking on my window. I rolled it down, giving him my best possible smile.

"Hey."

"Hey. What are you still doing here?" he asked, getting to the point.

"We're talking," I motioned between Rosalie and me.

"You didn't call me," he frowned. I shifted, becoming slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. My mind was searching for an excuse, but there wasn't one. I simply forgot.

"I know. I'm sorry. We dropped Mike and Edward off at the mall and then went over to Tyler's. I forgot."

Rosalie and I watched in astonishment as he turned to walk away. His jaw was tensed and his hands were fisted into balls at his side. Our relationship had been growing more and more volatile by the day, and though I knew it, I couldn't let him walk away.

"Ben." I called, but either he didn't hear me or he didn't listen. Rose grabbed my arm the second my hand gripped the door handle.

"Don't do it, Bella. Just let him go. Call him in the morning," she pled.

"It will only be worse if I don't go now," I said it without knowing if it was true, but not wanting to find out. Ben was not fun when he wasn't happy.

She let me go reluctantly, got out of the car, and ran into her house. I sighed, hoping she wasn't upset with me.

"Ben," I called again, slamming the car door. "Come here and talk to me."

"Why the fuck didn't you just call me, Bella? I've been sitting here all night waiting for you," he said angrily, waving his arms frantically. The look on his face was feral. Everyone knew Ben didn't trust me, even though my faithfulness was never an issue.

"I told you what I was doing. There was no reason to worry. I was with Rose."

"That's what bothers me the most," he retorted, shooting a glare in the direction of her home.

"Please," I said, exasperated.

"You're being ridiculous." My mouth dropped. I hadn't said anything. I poked him in his chest, making him fumble.

"No, you're being ridiculous. If you don't believe me, call Emmett. He was at Tyler's the whole time we were there."

"Fine," he snapped, digging his phone out of his pocket. He walked the short distance to his porch, leaving me in the middle of the street and took a seat. I could hear him talking, and briefly wondered what Emmett would say. It was true, I had been to Tyler's, but would he tell him who all was there?

Slowly, I walked into his yard. He met me half way, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

"Who is Edward?" he asked calmly. An involuntary smile spread across my face. The look on Ben's face told me he thought I was mocking him.

"A friend of Mike's. I never met him before today. Why?"

"You said you were with Mike and Edward. I was just wondering what you were doing with them," his words were full of innuendo. He always insinuated there was something going on with Mike and me, but never came out and asked.

"Oh my God, Ben! I just told you, I took them to the mall. Didn't you talk to Emmett? Did he tell you I was at Tyler's?" my voice was strained, tired. Something had changed. I didn't want to fight anymore.

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain where you've been the last two hours." He folded his arms across his chest and looked at me smugly, like he knew he had won.

"Two hours? I picked them up, Mike cleaned out my car, and I took him home. You know when I got here. I could see you peaking out of the window. Don't do this. Not tonight. I've had a good night."

"Without me," he snapped.

"Without you," I returned in the same tone.

That was when everything started moving too fast for my brain to comprehend what was happening. Ben grabbed the necklace around my neck and tugged. A searing pain shot through my chest and I hadn't realized a scream left my lips until Rosalie ran out of her house, a can of aqua net in one hand and a butcher knife in the other. The scene unfolding before my eyes would have been comical, had I not worried for one or either of their lives. She was chasing Ben with that ostentatious can of hairspray. I sank to my knees and began to cry. Ben came over and pulled me up by my arm.

"I swear to God, I will break it if you don't get away from me, Rosalie."

"How can you treat her like this? Look, she's fucking bleeding," she seethed, pointing to my chest. I looked down, sobs raked through my body as I took in the site of my own blood lacing the collar of my shirt. Ben had clawed my neck while trying to remove the necklace he bought me for Christmas three months prior.

I looked at Rose, pleading with her to stop. Her eyes held no sympathy. Time and time again Rose let me know that I dug my own grave. Ben's hold on my arm was tightening by the second, and I didn't doubt that he would, in fact, break it. Whether it was the pain she could tell I was in, or her udder dislike for him, Rosalie did something I never expected. She whipped out her cell and called the cops.

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**Please R&R**


	3. Don't Want To Try

**Did I say Wednesday? I meant really late Sunday night/early Monday morning :) Thank you all for the reviews, fav's and alerts!**

**Thanks to Kitty Cullen-03. She's my beta goddess and I couldn't do this without her. Also to TwiOthGirly, who has agreed to pre-read. You girls are amazing.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters.**

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Don't Want To Try

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My arm fell limply to my side as Ben released me and ran. He cut over a few yards before disappearing into the darkness, leaving Rosalie and me alone to deal with what I was sure would be a mess once the cops arrived. The click of her phone shutting caused me to cringe. I wasn't scared of Ben, not really, but after the night's turn of events I was on edge. Every little sound was startling as we waited for him to come back. He didn't.

Rosalie was looking at me expectantly. All I could do was stare at her through narrowed slits and wonder what she was thinking. It wasn't the first time the police had been called into one of our altercations, but it was the first time that I knew for certain who made the call. It was also the first time that things resorted to physical violence of that magnitude. Humiliation and anger caused a painful knot in my gut.

My relationship with Ben was complicated. We were both brats with inflated egos; neither of us willing to let the other go, yet, constantly trying to get them to change. What we had had nothing to do with love. We were sick – obsessed – and didn't care who we brought down in our game. Of course, we went through the motions of a normal, happy couple. We said our "I love you's" at all the right times, our families spent holidays and birthdays together, I cheered him on at his baseball games, and he supported me in any new activity I picked up. In the beginning, "the newlywed stage", things were great. So many times I tried to pinpoint when and where the change took place, but if I was honest with myself I would have seen that the answer was as simple as – we just didn't belong together.

Five minutes passed and the police had yet to show. My body and my mind were both exhausted. Rose took a step forward and reached for my hand. I let her take it. As much as I wanted to believe that Ben and I would move past another fight, my heart was broken and somewhere deep down I knew that that was it. Things would never be the same.

Brenda, Ben's stepmom came out of the house wearing her pajamas, a pair of boxer shorts and an oversized t-shirt. She didn't say anything as she made her way over to us, simply slipped her arm around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder. Brenda was young. Only eight years older than me, but her soul seemed ancient. She and Mark were married when she was twenty-four and him a young forty. I didn't know much about her. I didn't want to pry, but from what Ben told me about her I gathered she had been in a similar relationship to mine before she married Mark. Somehow having her there made the clenching of my heart a little more bearable, so I welcomed her embrace.

"What happened?" she finally asked.

"Rose called the cops and he ran," I responded a little too harshly.

"More than that happened, Bella," Rosalie glared at me as she spoke. "He almost broke your arm, not to mention those nasty cuts on your neck. You make it sound like I did something wrong. If I hadn't called do you really think you'd be standing here right now? No," she answered, not giving me time to speak. "You know why? Because you would most likely be on your way to the hospital to have a cast put on. Quit deluding yourself, Bella. Ben's not a good guy."

"You didn't have to call them. I would have been fine. You know he wouldn't have done it," I lied. Not even I knew he wouldn't have done it.

"Bella, sweetie, Rose did the right thing." Brenda looked up at me with an expression I didn't quite comprehend. "I wasn't here to see what happened, but this thing between the two of you has gone too far. I love you both and the last thing anyone wants is to see one of you hurt."

"Thanks, Brenda," I sniffed, tears beginning to well up in my eyes once again.

"You're welcome, Sugar. I'm going back inside. Ya'll want to come in?" She looked at us, waiting for our answers. We both shook our heads. "Alright, I'll send Mark out once the police get here."

"What a fucking mess," I grumbled, moving away from Rosalie and taking a seat against the curb.

A couple minutes later a white and blue cop car rounded the corner. I sat still, burying my head in my hands to hide the rolling of my eyes. I knew the motions. It was always the same. He'd ask me if I want to press charges, give me his best shot at a brief counseling session, hand me a card with a bunch of domestic violence help numbers on it, and give me a few last words of encouragement before leaving.

The screen door opened and shut behind me. I turned to glance at Mark. His face was emotionless as usual. The officer stepped out of his car and stated that someone had called. Of course we all already knew that. Traitor Rose was standing right there and didn't hesitate to speak up, telling him that it had been her and explaining the situation. He wanted to know where Ben was. None of us knew, and frankly, Rosalie was the only one that cared. Mark was tired of our shit and had already threatened to ban me from his home.

As expected, Officer Wilson took me to his car and asked if I would like to press charges. Twenty minutes after saying no I stepped out of the car fully stocked; one white card, two pamphlets, and an ear full of "you are worth it". I smiled and waved as he drove away. When I turned around to face Rosalie and Mark he was watching her carefully. She wasn't his favorite person and just like his son, he didn't mind letting her know.

"Well that was a waste. Thank you, Rosalie. I'm going to head out," my voice was softer and smaller than I'd intended.

"G'night, Bella," Mark drawled in his heavy Southern accent. He didn't appear to be too upset, at least not with me, so I smiled genuinely when I replied.

"Night, Mark." I waved before watching him turn on his heel and head back into the house. I was acutely aware of Rosalie standing off to the side watching me.

"Bella-" she began. My hand shot up as to say 'not now'. I didn't want to hear her excuses. We all, Brenda, Mark, and I, knew why she did it, and in truth couldn't blame her. I just wasn't in the mood to discuss it.

"I'll call you in the morning, Rose," I said with a sigh. She didn't reply or make an attempt to move. I walked back over to her house and got into my truck.

All the lights were off at my house as I pulled up to the curb. A gush of air left my lungs. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with my parents. Charlie, my dad, was ready to throw me out. Not because he didn't love me, but because he was worn out. He was ready to stop raising kids and settle into retirement. I knew I should have gotten my shit together and at least tried to move on, but I wasn't ready, and Renee never made me. She was more than willing to foot the bill for my lifestyle.

My parents had me late. Renee was forty, Charlie was forty-six. They both worked hard to insure our family's happiness and well being. He was a Vietnam Vet without a college degree, but managed to open and solely run two successful courier services. Renee was an attorney for the state, and a class A workaholic. She used to joke (sometimes still does) that she had to keep up the hours to keep up with her daughters.

My sister Cass and I were never super close. She was six years older than me, and in her eyes it wasn't exactly cool to have her little sister tagging along. Once I hit my teens she was the first person to give me a cigarette, take me to a drag show, get me stoned, and the one that convinced my parents I needed birth control. She was the person I called the first and only time I tripped acid and freaked, but those instances were rare. She knew little about my life, and the things I knew about hers were because I read them in the pages of her journal. Occasionally she would want to hang out and took me places that were way out of my league, but I always had fun. I looked up to her for her strength; she admired me for my sense of fashion. When I was sixteen she moved to Florida. I would visit her at least once a year, and she would come home for holidays, but still, we rarely talked otherwise.

Mom often paid the bills Cassie couldn't cover which infuriated my dad to no end. He thought we should be able to fend for ourselves once we left home. She told me once he threatened divorce if she didn't go to therapy. He believed that her desire to take care of us was also her way of controlling us, and that the longer it continued the worse off we would be.

Cassandra was married just after I met Ben, and but other than that, not much had changed.

We _were _a pretty average American family, but what family doesn't have their shit?

I walked through the front door, feeling much calmer than before. My parent's home had that effect on me. That was one of the reasons I found it so hard to leave. The long hallway that ran from the front door to the kitchen was illuminated by a nightlight, making it much easier for me to get to my destination without killing myself along the way. As I rounded the corner at the split, just before the kitchen, I was nearly run over by my dad.

"Bella? I didn't expect to see you tonight." He didn't look shocked to see me at all. He probably heard my car pull up and ran out of his bedroom.

"Yeah, well, I thought I could spend the day with mom tomorrow." I offered a small smile, hoping my answer would appease him. I just wanted to go to bed.

"She'll like that, honey. It would be nice if you could do that more often. She really misses her girls you know."

"I know."

"What happened?" He pointed to my chest. I silently cursed the nightlight. He didn't need yet another reason not to like Ben. Things were strained between the two of them as it was.

"What?" I looked down as if I had no clue what he was referring to.

"What happened to your shirt?" I could almost hear the rolling of his eyes.

"Oh, um, nothing. Ben accidently scratched me." I looked down. I was a terrible liar and he could see right through me.

"Hm, accidently, huh? Were you guys fighting?"

"Yeah." My hand came up to my face, rubbing over it vigorously. I hated talking to Charlie about things that happened between Ben and me. Out of all my family and friends he was the most opinionated on the subject.

"Look, I know you don't want my advice, but I'm your father and I am going to give it to you anyway. You and that boy are no good for each other. One day something's going to happen, he's going to hit you, or you're going to hit him, or even worse one of you is going to end up dead. You need to leave him alone, Bella," his tone was harsh, just as he intended. Charlie always meant well, but it was my life, I was an adult, and I had to make my own choices. He was stuck in his ways, and once he had an opinion there was no changing it, so there was no point in arguing my side. Besides, after what happened I wasn't sure I had anything to defend.

"I know. Thanks, Dad."

He grumbled, shaking his head, as I walked past him to my bedroom door. We both knew that while I heard what he said I hadn't really listened. That was how ninety percent of our conversations went.

"Goodnight," I said softly.

"Yup. Night, Bells," he called over his shoulder before heading for the kitchen. I sighed, pushing open my bedroom door. Even if I didn't want to listen to what he had to say, I felt bad that I continuously disappointed both him and my mom.

Closing the door behind me, I dropped my bag onto the floor and trudged the short distance to my bed. My room was average for a second bedroom. The south, east, and west walls were all a bright cherry red and the south was wallpapered with black and white swirls. There was a white wicker dresser that sat against the east wall. It was short and I often used it as a desk. On the south wall was a smaller wicker chest that held my TV. My bed was pressed flush against the west wall with the headboard up against the north. I had two large closets that were completely stuffed with clothes, shoes, and books. It was a comfortable environment which is why I jumped on the opportunity to take it once Cass moved out.

I sat down and took off my shoes before fishing through my sheets for the remote. I turned on the TV and found myself lucky that reruns of _That 70's Show_ were playing on Fox. I needed something light hearted and comical, and it happened to be one of my favorites. The only noise in the house was Charlie scrimmaging through the refrigerator. Not wanting a confrontation I decided to wait until he went to bed to perform my nightly routine. He let me off pretty easy when I came in, but once he had a few minutes to think about it, I knew he would have more to say.

Fifteen minutes later, Charlie shut the door to his and Renee's bedroom. I jumped up, really needing to use the restroom and scrounged around for a pair of pajamas. My bathroom was right next to my room and everything I needed to get ready was already there. No one ever used it unless I had guests, which was rare.

After taking a quick shower, brushing my teeth, throwing on my boxers and tank, and thoroughly towel drying my hair, I stood in the mirror inspecting my chest. The cuts weren't that deep, but would definitely leave scars if not properly taken care of. I fished the first aid kit out from under the sink and dowsed the three long lines with peroxide before smothering them with an antibacterial cream and covering them with gauze. They still felt fresh, especially after the shower. The sting wasn't anything unbearable, but definitely an unwelcomed reminder of the night's events.

When I got back to my room I fished my phone out of my backpack. The tiny alert indicator was flashing blue. With a sigh I flipped it open and sighed again when I saw three missed calls, one voicemail, and two texts. I had hoped that it was just Rose calling to apologize. No such luck. All six alerts belonged to Ben.

Thinking the voicemail would give me more insight as to what to expect when I did talk to him, I listened to it first. The only thing he said was "where are you?" before Mark told him to hang up the phone. For some reason I felt lighter, nearly relieved, knowing that he was home. I read the text messages next.

**How could you let her do that?**

**Are you home? We need to talk. I'm so sorry. **

And the sad thing was… I believed him.

So I sent a text back.

**Home. Not tonight. I'm worn. See you in the morning. I love you.**

Two minutes later he replied.

**I love you back. **

Those words flowed so easily for us both, even though I doubt they were ever true. Obsess, possess, lust, and settle would have been more fitting. However, I guess "I settle for you" wouldn't be the appropriate thing to say to a boyfriend.

I didn't lie when I told Ben I was worn. My body was tired, as was my mind. I plugged my phone into the charger and sat it on the nightstand. My alarm was set for eight since he had to be to work by noon and I had every intention of going to his house the next day. I climbed into bed, snuggling under the covers, and turning towards the TV. My body immediately relaxed and thanked me for getting off my feet. I watched _That 70's Show_ until I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

When my alarm went off the next morning I woke with a smile on my face. I slapped the alarm, effectively cutting the noise, and closed my eyes. Edward Cullen's beautiful face was all I could see. A funny feeling, something similar to déjà vu, washed over me. It took me a few minutes to recall why, but when I did the revelation took me by surprise. The night before my dreams were filled with malachite pools, unruly hair, and long fingers running through it. I grew irritated at the warm feeling reliving my dream brought me. While I was normally a great sleeper, I didn't often dream, and when I did I usually tried to analyze them. I believed that your dreams stemmed from your subconscious, but there was absolutely no reason for my subconscious to care a thing about Edward. We (my subconscious and I) didn't even know him.

I huffed, sitting up, and throwing the covers off of my body. My room was still dark thanks to the black blinds, so I switched on a lamp. A smile spread across my face at the sound of my parents sitting in the kitchen having their morning coffee. Charlie and Renee weren't overly affectionate in public, but there were little things in their daily routine that showed how much they cared for one another. Like the way he woke up before he needed to spend time with her each morning, or the way they pecked each other's lips before pulling out of the driveway when they rode together. I wanted that one day - those tiny declarations of love.

I slipped on my big fluffy blue robe as to not assault Charlie's eyes and walked out of my room to the kitchen. I stopped and smiled at them in the doorway. Neither had noticed me, so I took a few minutes to admire them before walking in further and kissing the top of Renee's head.

"Morning," I said, pulling away and walking over to the cabinet to pull out a coffee cup.

"Mornin', baby. I'm glad to see you up and in such a chipper mood," Renee said, the smile evident in her tone. "Your dad mentioned that you may want to spend time together today. I was thinking we could go shopping."

My words from the night before came rushing back to me. I had intended to spend the day with her, but after Ben's text I knew we did need to talk. I sat my mug on the counter and deliberated as I poured and fixed my coffee. Turning on my heel, I noticed both of my parents' gazes were on me. I took a seat in the chair across from Renee and stared down at my cup. Shopping did sound nice, and I knew that the time to myself, without Ben's influence, to think would be good for me. On the other hand, if I didn't go to his house it would only cause another fight. I decided I didn't care.

"Shopping sounds great, Mom."

Charlie acknowledged me with an approving nod and a smile.

We finished our coffee in relative silence. Charlie was going into the office early, so he left us to get himself ready. Renee said she had a few things to do online, but would be ready soon and left the room as well. I sat, picking a napkin apart, trying to decide whether or not I even wanted to call Ben.

Standing up from the table, I hit my hip on the sharp edge. A hiss escaped my lips before a string of profanities were muttered under my breath. I made my way into my bedroom and picked up my phone. I figured a text would be best since we hadn't actually spoken since he ran off. Besides, if I had called he would have talked me into coming over. Renee would be upset about the extra charges, but I had a month before the bill came and would warn her before it did.

**Sorry. I forgot I told mom I'd spend time with her. Pick you up 6?**

Ben worked at a barbeque place down the street from his house, so he would usually walk and I would pick him up on my way over to his house. I thought if he realized I intended on seeing him he might not be as upset about me bailing on him that morning.

I sat my phone down and started to get ready. A few minutes later my phone chirped.

**See you at 6. I love you**

I smiled at the simplicity of his reply and sent one equally as simple in return.

**I love you back. **

Two hours later Mom and I were walking around Cool Springs mall with one bag in each of our hands. Renee believed that shopping could solve anything, and I must admit, it did seem to always provide temporary relief for whatever problem I was having.

We stopped to grab a cup of coffee and biscotti from Coffee Bean. Renee and I both liked to people watch, so it became a regular occurrence for us to sit and chit chat outside of the coffee shop for a while. She told me that Dad had informed her of my condition the night before. I had no reason to be embarrassed. She knew what mine and Ben's relationship was like, but for some reason I was ashamed. There was no doubt that she understood on some level what I was going through. She had been married two times prior to marrying Charlie, and her first husband was an alcoholic. While their relationship was never physically abusive, she endured emotional abuse to an extent that I would never be able to comprehend. The difference between her and me, though, was that I encouraged and often started the fights Ben and I had.

The afternoon wore on. I was always ready to stop shopping before Renee. She could spend from opening to closing in a mall, where I could only last a few hours before I was itching for a change in scenery. I never complained, especially not that day. I enjoyed the time we spent together. My relationship with Ben had become suffocating. It was nice to do something that didn't involve him.

When we pulled into the drive way at 5:30 I quickly jumped out of the car and helped Mom carry the bags into the house before kissing her goodbye. I wasn't sure if I would be back, but opted to forgo an overnight bag. If I ended up staying I could just borrow something from Ben or Brenda. I did, however, grab my laptop. That thing was like an extension of me, and I had missed it that week. Besides, the thought of having to watch Ben and his little brother watching Halo all night wasn't in the least bit appealing.

I skipped out of my house, happier than I'd been in two weeks. Our outing had been good for me. Getting in the car, I threw my laptop case in the passenger seat and turned on the engine. Whitt's was only a couple miles from my house, so it wouldn't take me long to get there. As I got closer my anxiety started to grow. I fidgeted with the radio, looking for something to distract my mind. Thinking about the pending argument wouldn't do me any good.

Ben was waiting for me outside, even though I was a couple minutes early. Seeing him definitely didn't bring me any relief, but it also didn't spur the feelings of awe and lust I was used to feeling either. He was, without a doubt, one of the most attractive men I had ever seen. His dark chocolate hair was cropped short in the back and he had longer bangs hanging in the front. His brown eyes were almond shaped, rimmed with thick, brown, feather lashes. His heart shaped lips made it appear as though a smile was constantly adorning his face. He had flawless olive skin that anyone could admire. He was always well dressed, even at the gym he only wore the best. That day was no exception. He had on his appointed uniform shirt, with a pair of distressed jeans that had been slashed to perfection. His Nike's were crisp white, without a single smug, and his hat was canary yellow, to match the lettering on his t-shirt, with a blue hornet in the center. Any other day I would have been wiping the drool from my chin.

He walked to the car at an agonizingly slow pace. I could tell he was happy to see me. I frowned. If only the feeling had been mutual. Once he was inside I lowered the radio and put the car in drive. Ben leaned over the console and placed a kiss on the side of my neck.

"How was your day?" he asked, placing my laptop under his legs.

"Good. We went shopping. How was work?"

"Long. I couldn't wait to see you." His placed his hand on my leg and began rubbing circles on the inside of my thigh. I pursed my lips. He definitely had a one track mind. If we hadn't been together for a year I would have chalked it up to him being an eighteen year old male.

"Stop it, Ben. You said you wanted to talk. That's why I came."

"I do want to talk, but I missed you. You already know I'm sorry, Bella. We can talk about what happened later. Right now I would like to just spend some time with you, if that's okay."

"I think we should take a break." My eyes widened. What the hell was I saying and where did it come from?

"What?" He pulled his hand away quickly. He adjusted his body so he could look at me head on. I gulped, trying to gather my thoughts. I knew how I was feeling, but putting it into words proved to be difficult.

"We've been spending too much time together lately. I can't breathe, Ben. We're both angry all the time, and last night… We can't live like that. Maybe some time apart would be good for us." Yes, that sounded much better than saying, 'I don't think I'm in love with you'.

"No. I don't want that." He shook his head. The way he spoke made it sound so simple. Like he wasn't happy with my decision so it wasn't an option. I pulled up outside of his house and cut off the car. I sat back in my seat and tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

"But I do." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you coming in?"

"I don't think I should." My eyes didn't open as I answered him. Everything with Ben and me was more complicated than it should be. Everything.

"Please, come in," he said quietly, brushing my cheekbone with the back of his hand.

I sighed, grabbing my laptop, opening the door, and climbing out of the truck. Ben looked a little smug as we made our way to the front door. Inside, Brenda, Mark, Jared, and Ben's younger brother, Seth, were sitting in the living room watching television. Ben said a quick hello, prompting me to wave as we made our way to his room. I sat my laptop down on his desk and turned to face him. He was stripping out of his clothes. I quickly averted my eyes. After telling him I needed a break watching would have felt like an intrusion.

"Why are you trying to leave me?" he questioned walking towards me. I chanced a glance at him and was thankful that he'd already slipped on a pair of basketball shorts.

"I'm not leaving you. I just think we could both use a break." He continued walking. With each step he took, I took a step back. My knees hit the back of his queen size futon, causing me to fall on my ass with a thud.

He took my chin between his fingers and lifted my head. Tears formed in my eyes as I saw the resolve on his face. There was no way I was getting what I wanted without a fight, and I had no fight left. His knees came up to sit on each side of my thighs. The heat from his body on top of mine was making it hard for me to think.

"You don't love me anymore?" It was a question I had heard from him before. He was trying to guilt me into staying.

His lips brushed over my jaw line as his fingers trailed gently up my arms. An involuntary shiver spread throughout my body. He chuckled against my skin before kissing his way down to my neck.

"I do," I whispered, tilting my head to give him greater access. His hands gripped the hem of my shirt, tugging it up over my head. I didn't protest, although I knew I should have. Ben didn't miss a beat.

"You have to be quiet or they'll hear you," he said, nipping at my collar bone. He planted two solid kisses across the mesh that covered my wounds, and with his hands on my shoulders, pushed me to lay back.

I remained completely silent as he kissed down my chest, stopping to lick over the plush skin of my breast that had been pushed up by my bra. My nipples instantly puckered under his touch. I should have put a stop to it. I still had every intention of us spending some time apart, but in my mind I concluded being with him one last time would make for a happy goodbye.

His hands roamed my body freely as he licked down my abdomen. My belly quivered as his tongue swept across the skin just above the waistband of my jeans. Up until that point I had resisted the urge to touch him. I tangled my fingers in his hair, moaning in encouragement.

"I need to taste you." He popped open the button of my jeans and positioned himself between my legs.

"We need to talk," I said gruffly.

"Later," he insisted, sliding down the zipper. He palmed my pussy, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing up.

He pulled my pants down in one swift movement. We both laughed as the left leg caught on my foot and he struggled to remove it. He crawled between my legs and looked up as me as he placed a single chaste kiss on the lace covering my sex. The look in his eyes nearly took my breath away. It was at that moment I realized that Ben was grasping at strings. He was using sex to try and put us back together.

"Stop." I sat up quickly. He looked up questionably, but didn't say anything. "We can't. Not without talking first. Last night…" I shook my head, unsure of how to describe the way he made me feel. "Things got out of hand and you really scared me."

"I wasn't going to break your arm, Bella. That crazy bitch next door was chasing me with… I don't even know what that was, and I needed to get her off my back. Did you really think I was going to hurt you?" He sat up on his knees and took my face between his hands.

"You did hurt me," I whispered, looking down.

"I know and I'm sorry," he sighed, moving to sit beside me. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. If he was trying to break my resolve he was doing a fine job. He really did look regretful.

"Why did you run?" I asked suddenly.

"Why did you let her call the fucking cops?" he snapped back at me. That wasn't the reaction I was expecting. I knew he was mad, but how could he be upset with me about that? If it hadn't been Rose it would have been another neighbor. It wasn't like either of us worked to keep our argument quiet.

"I didn't have much of a choice. You had my arm twisted behind my back. The whole thing could have been avoided if you would have just listened to me."

"No, the whole thing could have been avoided if you didn't insist on spending time with your ex-boyfriends." I lay back, pulling the cover up my body and tucking it under my arms.

"Mike's my friend," I stated in a matter of fact tone.

"A friend you've had sex with a lot. I remember your stupid arrangement. I know the second this is over you'll be with him again." He was wrong. There was a chance that Mike and I would be together again, but it wasn't something we planned.

"That's not true. Yeah, we hooked up occasionally when we're both single, but that's not the case right now for either of us. He really is a good friend, and has been for a long time. There is more to our friendship than sex."

"I'm sorry I overacted," he said without emotion. His apology left me feeling emptier than I had before.

"But you can't promise that it won't happen again," it was a statement, not a question.

"No." There it was. I appreciated his honesty, but almost wished he had lied. He couldn't tell me that things would be different. He couldn't promise that in two years we wouldn't be in the exact same place. I knew I had to stand my ground, and at the very least take a few days to think.

We talked awhile longer before Brenda knocked on the door and asked if we were hungry. We sat and ate dinner with his family as if nothing happened, but the looks of disbelief Brenda was shooting me didn't go unnoticed. I had never talked to her about our relationship before and wasn't about to start. She was a sweet woman, but in the end, she was still Ben's step-mother.

The boys wanted to play Halo after dinner, so I went to get my laptop. I sat in an AOL chat room for a little over an hour before my lids started to get heavy. I got off of the couch and walked back into the bedroom to get my keys.

When I walked back out Ben was glaring in my direction. I sighed heavily, knowing he would want me to stay. He stood up; tossing the remote in front of the game console, and telling the boys he was done. I guided me back into the bedroom by the elbow. He begged me to stay the night, and I agreed on one condition – he would let me leave the next morning and give me a few days to myself.

He didn't try to have sex with me again that night. I was irrationally disappointed. Taking a break was my choice, but feeling like he didn't want me was a blow to my ego. When we went to bed we snuggled and laughed like nothing was wrong. That was the way things always were. All of our problems were stored away for the next big fight, where they would undoubtedly surface.

I didn't remember falling asleep that night, but when I was woken by my cell phone, at one-thirty the next morning, Ben's arms were wrapped around me tight. I snaked my body out of his arms and got up to see who was calling so late. Squinting to check the caller ID, I cursed. It was a number I didn't recognize and was pissed that someone had brought me out of my slumber for what I presumed was nothing.

"Hello," I snapped.

"Uh, Bella?" the liquid sex sounding voice of a man asked. I pulled the phone back again to check the caller ID. I knew that voice. I had dreamed about that voice the night before.

"Yes?" I said wearily.

"Hey, it's Edward. I, um, got your number from Mike." I was glad he sounded almost as nervous as I felt.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to remain calm. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach. I chanced a peak over at Ben to make sure he was still sleeping.

"Where you sleeping?"

"Mhm," I answered, nodding, even though he couldn't see me.

"Oh. I should let you go. I'm sorry. I'm at this party and I needed a ride. I shouldn't have-" I cut him off without thinking. I couldn't explain why, but I wanted to see him and wasn't going to pass up the opportunity.

"Where are you?"

"Brentwood." It was roughly a twenty minute drive, depending on where in Brentwood he was, but I couldn't bring myself to care. There was no way I would be going back to sleep anyway.

"I'll come get you. I'm going to have to call you back, though. Is this your number?"

"Yeah."

"Give me like 10 minutes to get ready. I'll call you when I'm in the car."

"Thanks," he sounded happy, or relieved, or maybe both. I don't know. I just knew I was going to pick up Edward Cullen, repercussions be damned.

"You're welcome."

I flipped the phone shut, ending our call and looked over at Ben's sleeping form. I debated on whether or not I should wake him up and decided on the latter. As quietly as possible I changed out of Ben's button down and got dressed before walking around the room gathering my belongings. Luckily, I slipped out of the house undetected and ran to my car. Digging my phone out of my pocket, I went to my call list and found Edward's number. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face and took a minute to calm myself. I didn't want to sound overly eager or giddy.

Just as I was about to hit the talk button I saw movement in my window. I jumped, startled, and turned to see who was there. It was Rose. With my hand over my chest, I rolled my eyes and motioned for her to open the door.

"What are you doing?" Is what she said, but 'what happened?' was what she meant. She always assumed the worse when it came to Ben and me.

"Going to pick up Edward." I heard her audibly gasp. My smile turned into a smirk.

"Shut up. Why?" Her eyes were wide with disbelief. I knew she had many questions, but I didn't really have the time to give her a lot of answers.

"He's at some party and needs a ride home." I shrugged.

"I'm coming," she said excitedly. Her eyes were dancing in delight. I could tell she was scheming, but didn't care to ask what was going on in that demented head of hers.

"Get in," I chuckled. She plopped down in the seat beside me, nearly bouncing. I went back to my phone and found Edward's number again. Hitting talk, I silently questioned my own intentions.


End file.
